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</header><main class="scrollbar-obtrusive"><div class="article-container"><!-- 文章tags --><!-- 渲染文章内容 --><article><p>卡耐基说过：要说服别人同意你的观点，你就要让他觉得这是他自己的观点。也就是说，本质上没有人真正被别人说服，听或者不听都是他们自己的主动选择</p>
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<h1 id="目的"><a href="#目的" class="headerlink" title="目的"></a>目的</h1><p>沟通目的无非两个：</p>
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<ul>
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<li>让对方认同我们的观点</li>
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<li>或者按我们说的做</li>
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</ul>
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<h1 id="搞定情绪"><a href="#搞定情绪" class="headerlink" title="搞定情绪"></a>搞定情绪</h1><p>大多数人的立场和行为，是由情绪决定的，对方不喜欢你，你再怎么努力也很难说服他，只有他认可你这个人你的话他才会听。所以动之以理之前要先小之以轻，你把他情绪搞定了，沟通也就成功了一半</p>
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<h2 id="夸-细节"><a href="#夸-细节" class="headerlink" title="夸 - 细节"></a>夸 - 细节</h2><p>不吝赞美，就一个字“夸”，具体怎么夸呢？</p>
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<p>细节就是不要太笼统：</p>
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<ul>
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<li>😭 你穿的真好看 </li>
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<li>😊 今天的上衣显得你很白，太美了</li>
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</ul>
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<h2 id="夸-对比"><a href="#夸-对比" class="headerlink" title="夸 - 对比"></a>夸 - 对比</h2><ul>
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<li>😭 你今天穿的真好看</li>
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<li>😊 你今天穿的真好看，一般人可传不出这种气质</li>
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</ul>
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<h2 id="我能理解你，换我也生气"><a href="#我能理解你，换我也生气" class="headerlink" title="我能理解你，换我也生气"></a>我能理解你，换我也生气</h2><p>接纳对方的负面情绪，把双方情绪拉回到安全范围内。</p>
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<h2 id="肢体同步"><a href="#肢体同步" class="headerlink" title="肢体同步"></a>肢体同步</h2><p>如果你的肢体动作跟对方同步，它会产生一种被共情的感觉</p>
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<ul>
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<li>对方说的火热，身体前倾，伺机凑近</li>
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<li>思考一到两秒钟再反馈，这个简单的停顿</li>
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</ul>
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<h1 id="只陈述不评论"><a href="#只陈述不评论" class="headerlink" title="只陈述不评论"></a>只陈述不评论</h1><p>事实不会引起争议</p>
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<p>比如：孩子考试没及格是事实，说他笨死了就是评论了。</p>
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<p>再比如：你这周上班迟到两次，这是事实，说你经常迟到就是评论了。</p>
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<h2 id="评论副词"><a href="#评论副词" class="headerlink" title="评论副词"></a>评论副词</h2><p>尽量规避一些跟评论相关的糊的频率副词，比如</p>
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<ul>
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<li>笨</li>
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<li>懒</li>
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<li>坏</li>
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<li>总是</li>
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<li>永远</li>
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<li>每次</li>
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</ul>
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<h1 id="保持开放性"><a href="#保持开放性" class="headerlink" title="保持开放性"></a>保持开放性</h1><p>还拿上面的例子，这些话对方只能回答好或者不好，然后结束沟通</p>
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<ul>
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<li>孩子没及格，老爸说下次必须及格。</li>
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<li>你上班迟到，老板说再迟到扣薪水。</li>
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</ul>
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<p>如果换成开放式沟通：</p>
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<ul>
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<li>老爸说咱们聊聊哪些题没有搞清楚</li>
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<li>老板说生活上是不是遇到了什么问题，没着我可以帮你</li>
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</ul>
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<h1 id="反馈事实"><a href="#反馈事实" class="headerlink" title="反馈事实"></a>反馈事实</h1><p>这些话对方不仅听着舒服，而且能给你反馈事实。具体怎么开放呢？咱们只需要记住两个关键词</p>
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<ul>
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<li>问题开放：不要让对方只能回答是或否，例如：像愿闻其详、展开说说、欢迎补充之类</li>
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<li>让出话语权：真正的沟通高手，是让对方觉得自己很牛，主导聊天的往往是能提出问题的人，或者让别人多说的人</li>
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</ul>
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</article>
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<div class="copyright"><a target="_blank" href="https://mozzie.cn/2023/10/24/A%20Guide%20to%20Effective%20Dialogue/"><span>Post Url：</span><span>https://mozzie.cn/2023/10/24/A%20Guide%20to%20Effective%20Dialogue/</span></a><ul><li><span>Author</span><p>Mozzie</p></li><li><span>Published on</span><p>2023-10-24</p></li><li><span>License</span><p><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/">CC BY-NC-SA 4.0</a></p></li></ul></div>
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<!-- 评论 --><div id="vcomments"></div></div></main></div><div class="meta-container"><div class="toc-wrapper content-dialog"><p class="catalog"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 24 24"><g fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round"><path d="M4 6h16"></path><path d="M4 12h16"></path><path d="M4 18h12"></path></g></svg><span>Catalog</span></p><!-- 文章toc --><ol class="toc"><li class="toc-item toc-level-1"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E7%9B%AE%E7%9A%84"><span class="toc-number">1.</span> <span class="toc-text">目的</span></a></li><li class="toc-item toc-level-1"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E6%90%9E%E5%AE%9A%E6%83%85%E7%BB%AA"><span class="toc-number">2.</span> <span class="toc-text">搞定情绪</span></a><ol class="toc-child"><li class="toc-item toc-level-2"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E5%A4%B8-%E7%BB%86%E8%8A%82"><span class="toc-number">2.1.</span> <span class="toc-text">夸 - 细节</span></a></li><li class="toc-item toc-level-2"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E5%A4%B8-%E5%AF%B9%E6%AF%94"><span class="toc-number">2.2.</span> <span class="toc-text">夸 - 对比</span></a></li><li class="toc-item toc-level-2"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E6%88%91%E8%83%BD%E7%90%86%E8%A7%A3%E4%BD%A0%EF%BC%8C%E6%8D%A2%E6%88%91%E4%B9%9F%E7%94%9F%E6%B0%94"><span class="toc-number">2.3.</span> <span class="toc-text">我能理解你，换我也生气</span></a></li><li class="toc-item toc-level-2"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E8%82%A2%E4%BD%93%E5%90%8C%E6%AD%A5"><span class="toc-number">2.4.</span> <span class="toc-text">肢体同步</span></a></li></ol></li><li class="toc-item toc-level-1"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E5%8F%AA%E9%99%88%E8%BF%B0%E4%B8%8D%E8%AF%84%E8%AE%BA"><span class="toc-number">3.</span> <span class="toc-text">只陈述不评论</span></a><ol class="toc-child"><li class="toc-item toc-level-2"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E8%AF%84%E8%AE%BA%E5%89%AF%E8%AF%8D"><span class="toc-number">3.1.</span> <span class="toc-text">评论副词</span></a></li></ol></li><li class="toc-item toc-level-1"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E4%BF%9D%E6%8C%81%E5%BC%80%E6%94%BE%E6%80%A7"><span class="toc-number">4.</span> <span class="toc-text">保持开放性</span></a></li><li class="toc-item toc-level-1"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E5%8F%8D%E9%A6%88%E4%BA%8B%E5%AE%9E"><span class="toc-number">5.</span> <span class="toc-text">反馈事实</span></a></li></ol></div></div></div><script> window.katex = { enable: "true", jsCdn: "//cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/katex@0.13.18/dist/katex.min.js", cssCdn: "//cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/katex@0.13.18/dist/katex.min.css" } window.mermaid = { enable: "true", cdn: "//cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/mermaid@10.4.0/dist/mermaid.min.js", } window.valine = { enable: "true", appId: 'TisMit6uhflounFqAN3ZGjgq-MdYXbMMI', appKey: 'CdjirjYdz07U5i62ElsJvXUh', avatar: 'monsterid', cdn: '//unpkg.com/valine@latest/dist/Valine.min.js', serverURLs: '//tismit6u.api.lncldglobal.com' }; </script>
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