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<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en"><head><meta charset="UTF-8"><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0"><title>有效对话指南</title><meta name="description" content=""><meta name="keywords" content=""><meta name="author" content="Mozzie"><link rel="canonical" href="https://mozzie.cn/2023/10/24/A%20Guide%20to%20Effective%20Dialogue/"><link rel="icon" type="image/svg" href='data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 24 24"><g fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round"><path d="M16 7h1a2 2 0 0 1 2 2v.5a.5.5 0 0 0 .5.5a.5.5 0 0 1 .5.5v3a.5.5 0 0 1-.5.5a.5.5 0 0 0-.5.5v.5a2 2 0 0 1-2 2h-2"></path><path d="M8 7H6a2 2 0 0 0-2 2v6a2 2 0 0 0 2 2h1"></path><path d="M12 8l-2 4h3l-2 4"></path></g></svg>'>
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</header><main class="scrollbar-obtrusive"><div class="article-container"><!-- 文章tags --><!-- 渲染文章内容 --><article><p>卡耐基说过：要说服别人同意你的观点，你就要让他觉得这是他自己的观点。也就是说，本质上没有人真正被别人说服，听或者不听都是他们自己的主动选择</p>
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<h1 id="目的"><a href="#目的" class="headerlink" title="目的"></a>目的</h1><p>沟通目的无非两个：</p>
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<ul>
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<li>让对方认同我们的观点</li>
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<li>或者按我们说的做</li>
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</ul>
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<h1 id="搞定情绪"><a href="#搞定情绪" class="headerlink" title="搞定情绪"></a>搞定情绪</h1><p>大多数人的立场和行为，是由情绪决定的，对方不喜欢你，你再怎么努力也很难说服他，只有他认可你这个人你的话他才会听。所以动之以理之前要先小之以轻，你把他情绪搞定了，沟通也就成功了一半</p>
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<h2 id="夸-细节"><a href="#夸-细节" class="headerlink" title="夸 - 细节"></a>夸 - 细节</h2><p>不吝赞美，就一个字“夸”，具体怎么夸呢？</p>
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<p>细节就是不要太笼统：</p>
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<ul>
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<li>😭 你穿的真好看 </li>
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<li>😊 今天的上衣显得你很白，太美了</li>
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</ul>
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<h2 id="夸-对比"><a href="#夸-对比" class="headerlink" title="夸 - 对比"></a>夸 - 对比</h2><ul>
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<li>😭 你今天穿的真好看</li>
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<li>😊 你今天穿的真好看，一般人可传不出这种气质</li>
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</ul>
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<h2 id="我能理解你，换我也生气"><a href="#我能理解你，换我也生气" class="headerlink" title="我能理解你，换我也生气"></a>我能理解你，换我也生气</h2><p>接纳对方的负面情绪，把双方情绪拉回到安全范围内。</p>
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<h2 id="肢体同步"><a href="#肢体同步" class="headerlink" title="肢体同步"></a>肢体同步</h2><p>如果你的肢体动作跟对方同步，它会产生一种被共情的感觉</p>
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<ul>
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<li>对方说的火热，身体前倾，伺机凑近</li>
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<li>思考一到两秒钟再反馈，这个简单的停顿</li>
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</ul>
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<h1 id="只陈述不评论"><a href="#只陈述不评论" class="headerlink" title="只陈述不评论"></a>只陈述不评论</h1><p>事实不会引起争议</p>
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<p>比如：孩子考试没及格是事实，说他笨死了就是评论了。</p>
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<p>再比如：你这周上班迟到两次，这是事实，说你经常迟到就是评论了。</p>
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<h2 id="评论副词"><a href="#评论副词" class="headerlink" title="评论副词"></a>评论副词</h2><p>尽量规避一些跟评论相关的糊的频率副词，比如</p>
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<ul>
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<li>笨</li>
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<li>懒</li>
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<li>坏</li>
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<li>总是</li>
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<li>永远</li>
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<li>每次</li>
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</ul>
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<h1 id="保持开放性"><a href="#保持开放性" class="headerlink" title="保持开放性"></a>保持开放性</h1><p>还拿上面的例子，这些话对方只能回答好或者不好，然后结束沟通</p>
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<ul>
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<li>孩子没及格，老爸说下次必须及格。</li>
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<li>你上班迟到，老板说再迟到扣薪水。</li>
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</ul>
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<p>如果换成开放式沟通：</p>
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<ul>
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<li>老爸说咱们聊聊哪些题没有搞清楚</li>
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<li>老板说生活上是不是遇到了什么问题，没着我可以帮你</li>
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</ul>
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<h1 id="反馈事实"><a href="#反馈事实" class="headerlink" title="反馈事实"></a>反馈事实</h1><p>这些话对方不仅听着舒服，而且能给你反馈事实。具体怎么开放呢？咱们只需要记住两个关键词</p>
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<ul>
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<li>问题开放：不要让对方只能回答是或否，例如：像愿闻其详、展开说说、欢迎补充之类</li>
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<li>让出话语权：真正的沟通高手，是让对方觉得自己很牛，主导聊天的往往是能提出问题的人，或者让别人多说的人</li>
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</ul>
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</article>
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<div class="copyright"><a target="_blank" href="https://mozzie.cn/2023/10/24/A%20Guide%20to%20Effective%20Dialogue/"><span>Post Url：</span><span>https://mozzie.cn/2023/10/24/A%20Guide%20to%20Effective%20Dialogue/</span></a><ul><li><span>Author</span><p>Mozzie</p></li><li><span>Published on</span><p>2023-10-24</p></li><li><span>License</span><p><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/">CC BY-NC-SA 4.0</a></p></li></ul></div>
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