<!DOCTYPE html>
<html lang="en">
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
<title>
有效对话指南
</title>
<meta name="description" content="">
<meta name="keywords" content="">
<meta name="author" content="Mozzie">
<link rel="canonical" href="https://mozzie.cn/2023/10/24/A%20Guide%20to%20Effective%20Dialogue/">
<link rel="icon" type="image/svg" href='data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 24 24"><g fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round"><path d="M16 7h1a2 2 0 0 1 2 2v.5a.5.5 0 0 0 .5.5a.5.5 0 0 1 .5.5v3a.5.5 0 0 1-.5.5a.5.5 0 0 0-.5.5v.5a2 2 0 0 1-2 2h-2"></path><path d="M8 7H6a2 2 0 0 0-2 2v6a2 2 0 0 0 2 2h1"></path><path d="M12 8l-2 4h3l-2 4"></path></g></svg>'>
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/css/d78c65bd.css">
<meta name="generator" content="Hexo 6.3.0"></head>
<body id="app">
<!-- 响应式布局按钮 -->
<a class="side-navigation btn-hover btn-hover-bg tip left" data-tip="Expand">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 24 24">
<g fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round">
<rect x="4" y="4" width="16" height="16" rx="2"></rect>
<path d="M9 4v16"></path>
</g>
</svg>
</a>
<aside>
<div>
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/css/e01add4b.css">
<div class="home-bar">
<a href="/" class="tip" data-tip="Home">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 512 512">
<path
d="M172.2 226.8c-14.6-2.9-28.2 8.9-28.2 23.8V301c0 10.2 7.1 18.4 16.7 22c18.2 6.8 31.3 24.4 31.3 45c0 26.5-21.5 48-48 48s-48-21.5-48-48V120c0-13.3-10.7-24-24-24H24c-13.3 0-24 10.7-24 24v248c0 89.5 82.1 160.2 175 140.7c54.4-11.4 98.3-55.4 109.7-109.7c17.4-82.9-37-157.2-112.5-172.2zM209 0c-9.2-.5-17 6.8-17 16v31.6c0 8.5 6.6 15.5 15 15.9c129.4 7 233.4 112 240.9 241.5c.5 8.4 7.5 15 15.9 15h32.1c9.2 0 16.5-7.8 16-17C503.4 139.8 372.2 8.6 209 0zm.3 96c-9.3-.7-17.3 6.7-17.3 16.1v32.1c0 8.4 6.5 15.3 14.8 15.9c76.8 6.3 138 68.2 144.9 145.2c.8 8.3 7.6 14.7 15.9 14.7h32.2c9.3 0 16.8-8 16.1-17.3c-8.4-110.1-96.5-198.2-206.6-206.7z"
fill="currentColor"></path>
</svg>
<span>Mozzie</span>
</a>
<!-- 切换主题 -->
<a id="toggle-theme" class="tip left" data-tip="Switch Theme">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 512 512">
<path d="M256 118a22 22 0 0 1-22-22V48a22 22 0 0 1 44 0v48a22 22 0 0 1-22 22z" fill="currentColor"></path>
<path d="M256 486a22 22 0 0 1-22-22v-48a22 22 0 0 1 44 0v48a22 22 0 0 1-22 22z" fill="currentColor"></path>
<path
d="M369.14 164.86a22 22 0 0 1-15.56-37.55l33.94-33.94a22 22 0 0 1 31.11 31.11l-33.94 33.94a21.93 21.93 0 0 1-15.55 6.44z"
fill="currentColor"></path>
<path
d="M108.92 425.08a22 22 0 0 1-15.55-37.56l33.94-33.94a22 22 0 1 1 31.11 31.11l-33.94 33.94a21.94 21.94 0 0 1-15.56 6.45z"
fill="currentColor"></path>
<path d="M464 278h-48a22 22 0 0 1 0-44h48a22 22 0 0 1 0 44z" fill="currentColor"></path>
<path d="M96 278H48a22 22 0 0 1 0-44h48a22 22 0 0 1 0 44z" fill="currentColor"></path>
<path
d="M403.08 425.08a21.94 21.94 0 0 1-15.56-6.45l-33.94-33.94a22 22 0 0 1 31.11-31.11l33.94 33.94a22 22 0 0 1-15.55 37.56z"
fill="currentColor"></path>
<path
d="M142.86 164.86a21.89 21.89 0 0 1-15.55-6.44l-33.94-33.94a22 22 0 0 1 31.11-31.11l33.94 33.94a22 22 0 0 1-15.56 37.55z"
fill="currentColor"></path>
<path d="M256 358a102 102 0 1 1 102-102a102.12 102.12 0 0 1-102 102z" fill="currentColor"></path>
</svg>
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 512 512">
<path
d="M264 480A232 232 0 0 1 32 248c0-94 54-178.28 137.61-214.67a16 16 0 0 1 21.06 21.06C181.07 76.43 176 104.66 176 136c0 110.28 89.72 200 200 200c31.34 0 59.57-5.07 81.61-14.67a16 16 0 0 1 21.06 21.06C442.28 426 358 480 264 480z"
fill="currentColor"></path>
</svg>
</a>
</div>
<script src="/js/ae2a0e7b.js"></script>
<!-- search -->
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/css/4c3d0e88.css">
<form class="search-group">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 20 20">
<g fill="currentColor">
<path d="M8.5 3a5.5 5.5 0 0 1 4.383 8.823l4.147 4.147a.75.75 0 0 1-.976 1.133l-.084-.073l-4.147-4.147A5.5 5.5 0 1 1 8.5 3zm0 1.5a4 4 0 1 0 0 8a4 4 0 0 0 0-8z" fill="currentColor"></path>
</g>
</svg>
<span id="search-input">Search...</span>
<div class="short-key">
<kbd class="key-cap"><span>Ctrl K</span></kbd>
</div>
</form>
<script>
window.algolia = {
appId: "5DTW808BZ8",
SearchOnlyAPIKey: "27845b245efc8a2853cc0bdc7366ea26"
}
</script>
<script src="/js/07f44e09.js"></script>
<!-- navigation -->
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/css/3efc6cb5.css">
<section class="category-nav scrollbar-obtrusive">
<ul class="nav-items">
<li data-path="archives">
<a href="/archives">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 24 24">
<g fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round">
<path d="M12 7v14"></path>
<path d="M9 18l3 3l3-3"></path>
<circle cx="12" cy="5" r="2"></circle>
</g>
</svg>
<div class="ellipsis">Timeline</div>
</a>
</li>
<li data-path="roadmap">
<a href="/roadmap">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 24 24">
<g fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round">
<path d="M10.5 20.4l-6.9-6.9c-.781-.781-.781-2.219 0-3l6.9-6.9c.781-.781 2.219-.781 3 0l6.9 6.9c.781.781.781 2.219 0 3l-6.9 6.9c-.781.781-2.219.781-3 0z"></path>
<path d="M9 14v-2c0-.59.414-1 1-1h5"></path>
<path d="M13 9l2 2l-2 2"></path>
</g>
</svg>
<div class="ellipsis">Roadmap</div>
</a>
</li>
<li data-path="resume">
<a href="/resume">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 24 24">
<g fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round">
<path d="M14 3v4a1 1 0 0 0 1 1h4"></path>
<path d="M5 8V5a2 2 0 0 1 2-2h7l5 5v11a2 2 0 0 1-2 2h-5"></path>
<circle cx="6" cy="14" r="3"></circle>
<path d="M4.5 17L3 22l3-1.5L9 22l-1.5-5"></path>
</g>
</svg>
<div class="ellipsis">Resume</div>
</a>
</li>
</ul>
<p>Category</p>
<ul>
<li class="active">
<a href="/categories/EQ/">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 24 24"><g fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round"><path d="M5.636 5.636a9 9 0 0 1 13.397.747L13.414 12l5.619 5.617A9 9 0 1 1 5.636 5.636z"></path><circle cx="11.5" cy="7.5" r="1" fill="currentColor"></circle></g></svg>
<div class="ellipsis">
<span>
EQ
</span>
</div>
</a>
</li>
<li class="">
<a href="/categories/Hexo/">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 24 24"><g fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round"><path d="M4 17v1a2 2 0 0 0 2 2h12a2 2 0 0 0 2-2v-1"></path><path d="M8 16h8"></path><path d="M8.322 12.582l7.956.836"></path><path d="M8.787 9.168l7.826 1.664"></path><path d="M10.096 5.764l7.608 2.472"></path></g></svg>
<div class="ellipsis">
<span>
Hexo
</span>
</div>
</a>
</li>
<li class="">
<a href="/categories/Front-End/">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 24 24"><g fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round"><path d="M20 4l-2 14.5l-6 2l-6-2L4 4z"></path><path d="M7.5 8h3v8l-2-1"></path><path d="M16.5 8H14a.5.5 0 0 0-.5.5v3a.5.5 0 0 0 .5.5h1.423a.5.5 0 0 1 .495.57L15.5 15.5l-2 .5"></path></g></svg>
<div class="ellipsis">
<span>
Front-End
</span>
</div>
</a>
</li>
</ul>
</section>
<script src="/js/f8b20eb9.js"></script>
<!-- icp -->
<div class="icp">
<a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="http://beian.miit.gov.cn/">苏ICP备19008833号-4</a>
</div>
</div>
</aside>
<main>
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/css/32ae9342.css">
<div class="post-container">
<div class="content">
<header>
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/css/de5de8fb.css">
<nav class="breadcrumb">
<a href="/" class="home tip btn-hover right" data-tip="Home">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 512 512">
<path d="M172.2 226.8c-14.6-2.9-28.2 8.9-28.2 23.8V301c0 10.2 7.1 18.4 16.7 22c18.2 6.8 31.3 24.4 31.3 45c0 26.5-21.5 48-48 48s-48-21.5-48-48V120c0-13.3-10.7-24-24-24H24c-13.3 0-24 10.7-24 24v248c0 89.5 82.1 160.2 175 140.7c54.4-11.4 98.3-55.4 109.7-109.7c17.4-82.9-37-157.2-112.5-172.2zM209 0c-9.2-.5-17 6.8-17 16v31.6c0 8.5 6.6 15.5 15 15.9c129.4 7 233.4 112 240.9 241.5c.5 8.4 7.5 15 15.9 15h32.1c9.2 0 16.5-7.8 16-17C503.4 139.8 372.2 8.6 209 0zm.3 96c-9.3-.7-17.3 6.7-17.3 16.1v32.1c0 8.4 6.5 15.3 14.8 15.9c76.8 6.3 138 68.2 144.9 145.2c.8 8.3 7.6 14.7 15.9 14.7h32.2c9.3 0 16.8-8 16.1-17.3c-8.4-110.1-96.5-198.2-206.6-206.7z" fill="currentColor"></path>
</svg>
</a>
<em>
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 20 20">
<g fill="none">
<path d="M7.733 4.207a.75.75 0 0 1 1.06.026l5.001 5.25a.75.75 0 0 1 0 1.035l-5 5.25a.75.75 0 1 1-1.087-1.034L12.216 10l-4.51-4.734a.75.75 0 0 1 .027-1.06z" fill="currentColor"></path>
</g>
</svg>
</em>
<a href="/categories/EQ/">
EQ
</a>
<em>
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 20 20">
<g fill="none">
<path d="M7.733 4.207a.75.75 0 0 1 1.06.026l5.001 5.25a.75.75 0 0 1 0 1.035l-5 5.25a.75.75 0 1 1-1.087-1.034L12.216 10l-4.51-4.734a.75.75 0 0 1 .027-1.06z" fill="currentColor"></path>
</g>
</svg>
</em>
<span class="ellipsis">
有效对话指南
</span>
</nav>
<script src="/js/31d6cfe0.js"></script>
</header>
<main class="scrollbar-obtrusive">
<div class="article-container">
<!-- 文章tags -->
<!-- 渲染文章内容 -->
<article><p>卡耐基说过：要说服别人同意你的观点，你就要让他觉得这是他自己的观点。也就是说，本质上没有人真正被别人说服，听或者不听都是他们自己的主动选择</p>
<h1 id="目的"><a href="#目的" class="headerlink" title="目的"></a>目的</h1><p>沟通目的无非两个：</p>
<ul>
<li>让对方认同我们的观点</li>
<li>或者按我们说的做</li>
</ul>
<h1 id="搞定情绪"><a href="#搞定情绪" class="headerlink" title="搞定情绪"></a>搞定情绪</h1><p>大多数人的立场和行为，是由情绪决定的，对方不喜欢你，你再怎么努力也很难说服他，只有他认可你这个人你的话他才会听。所以动之以理之前要先小之以轻，你把他情绪搞定了，沟通也就成功了一半</p>
<h2 id="夸-细节"><a href="#夸-细节" class="headerlink" title="夸 - 细节"></a>夸 - 细节</h2><p>不吝赞美，就一个字“夸”，具体怎么夸呢？</p>
<p>细节就是不要太笼统：</p>
<ul>
<li>😭 你穿的真好看 </li>
<li>😊 今天的上衣显得你很白，太美了</li>
</ul>
<h2 id="夸-对比"><a href="#夸-对比" class="headerlink" title="夸 - 对比"></a>夸 - 对比</h2><ul>
<li>😭 你今天穿的真好看</li>
<li>😊 你今天穿的真好看，一般人可传不出这种气质</li>
</ul>
<h2 id="我能理解你，换我也生气"><a href="#我能理解你，换我也生气" class="headerlink" title="我能理解你，换我也生气"></a>我能理解你，换我也生气</h2><p>接纳对方的负面情绪，把双方情绪拉回到安全范围内。</p>
<h2 id="肢体同步"><a href="#肢体同步" class="headerlink" title="肢体同步"></a>肢体同步</h2><p>如果你的肢体动作跟对方同步，它会产生一种被共情的感觉</p>
<ul>
<li>对方说的火热，身体前倾，伺机凑近</li>
<li>思考一到两秒钟再反馈，这个简单的停顿</li>
</ul>
<h1 id="只陈述不评论"><a href="#只陈述不评论" class="headerlink" title="只陈述不评论"></a>只陈述不评论</h1><p>事实不会引起争议</p>
<p>比如：孩子考试没及格是事实，说他笨死了就是评论了。</p>
<p>再比如：你这周上班迟到两次，这是事实，说你经常迟到就是评论了。</p>
<h2 id="评论副词"><a href="#评论副词" class="headerlink" title="评论副词"></a>评论副词</h2><p>尽量规避一些跟评论相关的糊的频率副词，比如</p>
<ul>
<li>笨</li>
<li>懒</li>
<li>坏</li>
<li>总是</li>
<li>永远</li>
<li>每次</li>
</ul>
<h1 id="保持开放性"><a href="#保持开放性" class="headerlink" title="保持开放性"></a>保持开放性</h1><p>还拿上面的例子，这些话对方只能回答好或者不好，然后结束沟通</p>
<ul>
<li>孩子没及格，老爸说下次必须及格。</li>
<li>你上班迟到，老板说再迟到扣薪水。</li>
</ul>
<p>如果换成开放式沟通：</p>
<ul>
<li>老爸说咱们聊聊哪些题没有搞清楚</li>
<li>老板说生活上是不是遇到了什么问题，没着我可以帮你</li>
</ul>
<h1 id="反馈事实"><a href="#反馈事实" class="headerlink" title="反馈事实"></a>反馈事实</h1><p>这些话对方不仅听着舒服，而且能给你反馈事实。具体怎么开放呢？咱们只需要记住两个关键词</p>
<ul>
<li>问题开放：不要让对方只能回答是或否，例如：像愿闻其详、展开说说、欢迎补充之类</li>
<li>让出话语权：真正的沟通高手，是让对方觉得自己很牛，主导聊天的往往是能提出问题的人，或者让别人多说的人</li>
</ul>
</article>
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/css/ccbcde32.css">
<div class="copyright">
<a target="_blank" href="https://mozzie.cn/2023/10/24/A%20Guide%20to%20Effective%20Dialogue/">
<span>Post Url：</span>
<span>https://mozzie.cn/2023/10/24/A%20Guide%20to%20Effective%20Dialogue/</span>
</a>
<ul>
<li>
<span>Author</span>
<p> Mozzie</p>
</li>
<li>
<span>Published on</span>
<p>2023-10-24</p>
</li>
<li>
<span>License</span>
<p><a target="_blank" rel="noopener" href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/">CC BY-NC-SA 4.0</a></p>
</li>
</ul>
</div>
<script src="/js/31d6cfe0.js"></script>
<!-- 评论 -->
<div id="vcomments"></div>
</div>
</main>
</div>
<div class="meta-container">
<div class="toc-wrapper content-dialog">
<p class="catalog">
<svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" xmlns:xlink="http://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" viewBox="0 0 24 24">
<g fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round">
<path d="M4 6h16"></path>
<path d="M4 12h16"></path>
<path d="M4 18h12"></path>
</g>
</svg>
<span>Catalog</span>
</p>
<!-- 文章toc -->
<ol class="toc"><li class="toc-item toc-level-1"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E7%9B%AE%E7%9A%84"><span class="toc-number">1.</span> <span class="toc-text">目的</span></a></li><li class="toc-item toc-level-1"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E6%90%9E%E5%AE%9A%E6%83%85%E7%BB%AA"><span class="toc-number">2.</span> <span class="toc-text">搞定情绪</span></a><ol class="toc-child"><li class="toc-item toc-level-2"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E5%A4%B8-%E7%BB%86%E8%8A%82"><span class="toc-number">2.1.</span> <span class="toc-text">夸 - 细节</span></a></li><li class="toc-item toc-level-2"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E5%A4%B8-%E5%AF%B9%E6%AF%94"><span class="toc-number">2.2.</span> <span class="toc-text">夸 - 对比</span></a></li><li class="toc-item toc-level-2"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E6%88%91%E8%83%BD%E7%90%86%E8%A7%A3%E4%BD%A0%EF%BC%8C%E6%8D%A2%E6%88%91%E4%B9%9F%E7%94%9F%E6%B0%94"><span class="toc-number">2.3.</span> <span class="toc-text">我能理解你，换我也生气</span></a></li><li class="toc-item toc-level-2"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E8%82%A2%E4%BD%93%E5%90%8C%E6%AD%A5"><span class="toc-number">2.4.</span> <span class="toc-text">肢体同步</span></a></li></ol></li><li class="toc-item toc-level-1"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E5%8F%AA%E9%99%88%E8%BF%B0%E4%B8%8D%E8%AF%84%E8%AE%BA"><span class="toc-number">3.</span> <span class="toc-text">只陈述不评论</span></a><ol class="toc-child"><li class="toc-item toc-level-2"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E8%AF%84%E8%AE%BA%E5%89%AF%E8%AF%8D"><span class="toc-number">3.1.</span> <span class="toc-text">评论副词</span></a></li></ol></li><li class="toc-item toc-level-1"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E4%BF%9D%E6%8C%81%E5%BC%80%E6%94%BE%E6%80%A7"><span class="toc-number">4.</span> <span class="toc-text">保持开放性</span></a></li><li class="toc-item toc-level-1"><a class="toc-link" href="#%E5%8F%8D%E9%A6%88%E4%BA%8B%E5%AE%9E"><span class="toc-number">5.</span> <span class="toc-text">反馈事实</span></a></li></ol>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<script>
window.katex = {
enable: "true",
jsCdn: "//cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/katex@0.13.18/dist/katex.min.js",
cssCdn: "//cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/katex@0.13.18/dist/katex.min.css"
}
window.mermaid = {
enable: "true",
cdn: "//cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/mermaid@10.4.0/dist/mermaid.min.js",
}
window.valine = {
enable: "true",
appId: 'TisMit6uhflounFqAN3ZGjgq-MdYXbMMI',
appKey: 'CdjirjYdz07U5i62ElsJvXUh',
avatar: 'monsterid',
cdn: '//unpkg.com/valine@latest/dist/Valine.min.js',
serverURLs: '//tismit6u.api.lncldglobal.com'
};
</script>
<script src="/js/a02fa72b.js"></script>
</main>
</body>
<script>
window.i18n = {
"tip-collapse": "Collapse",
"tip-expand": "Expand",
"text-select": "select",
"text-move": "movement",
"text-esc": "close",
"tip-status-done": "Done",
"tip-status-doing": "In Progress",
"tip-status-todo": "Todo",
"tip-status-other": "Duplicate",
"tip-status-default": "Default",
"tip-roadmap-today": "Positioning to the today",
"text-search": "Search...",
"text-today": "Today",
// month
"January": "January",
"February": "February",
"March": "March",
"April": "April",
"May": "May",
"June": "June",
"July": "July",
"August": "August",
"September": "September",
"October": "October",
"November": "November",
"December": "December",
}
</script>
<script src="/js/58c91c4e.js"></script>
</html>